Thinking of Elf makes me think of a recent conversation with my daughter about maple syrup.
Why? Because of a classic Buddy the Elf, line. “We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.”
Here is the syrup story.
My daughter is in an AP Environmental Science class. I am quite sure the teacher is trying to create a squad of vegans because it seems like they have learned a lot about how modern farming is very cruel to animals.
One of their assignments was to eat a different diet for a week and write a paper about it. My daughter chose a quasi-vegan diet. To follow this diet, she could not eat meat (obviously) or dairy products but she could eat eggs. That’s why I call it quasi-vegan. My own term, thank you very much.
Being the excellent student that she is, she went full tilt into being a quasi-vegan. She researched vegan products, found recipes and made a grocery list to get started. And off to the store we went.
One of the items on the list was maple syrup.
Me: We can check this one off the list. We have maple syrup at home.
Her: We do?Me: Yep. We have Mrs. Butterworth’s at home.
Her: Is that really maple syrup?
Me: Of course it is. It probably has some preservatives in it but it’s still maple syrup.
Even as I said it, somewhere deep inside me a little voice started growing louder. Maybe it’s not really maple syrup.
But hey, let me practice time travel and jump way back to my childhood. Come with me, won’t you?
My very best childhood friend, Nancy, also grew up on a farm. Not only was it a dairy farm, they also processed maple syrup. It was always fun to go on a class trip to their farm to see how they made the maple syrup. We got to trudge through the snow and look at all those trees with their pails hanging off from them and those big vats of syrup being made. It was super cool. Good times.
And on another note, do you know what the very best part of traveling back and forth to Canada is? The maple candy you can buy in the gift shops at the Toronto airport. (That was a completely random thought.)
But back to the story. Maybe Mrs. Butterworth’s is not really maple syrup. Could it be? So I walked over to the shelf, turned over the bottle and here is what it said.
Ingredients: High fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, water, salt, cellulose gum, molasses, potassium sorbate (preservative), sodium hexametaphosphate, citric acid, caramel color, natural and artificial flavors.
Wow. Not a speck of maple syrup to be found. Come to think of it, I don’t remember seeing any hexametaphosphate at Nancy’s farm.
All these years I have been content to think that the Mrs. Butterworth’s on my toast, french toast and pancakes was maple syrup. Not even close. Had I read the label more closely, I may have noticed that Mrs. Butterworth does not try to pass herself off as pure maple syrup either. Only as syrup. Complete truth in advertising.
Somewhat reluctantly I told my daughter that she was right. Mrs. Butterworth’s was not real maple syrup. Just syrup. So I bought a tiny, costly bottle of pure maple syrup for her to use in her recipe and left the store a little deflated.
The cold hard truth has exposed the hoodwinking nature of yet another childhood hero of mine. I suppose this means the bottle doesn’t really talk either, right?
I still love you Mrs. Butterworth!! You’re syrupy sweet goodness is unmatched, even if you aren’t really maple syrup!
Keep on smiling!
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